Eventually, I am going to realize how embarrassing this picture is and I will stop sharing it with everyone but until then I will because you will never understand who I am without knowing what ive been through. You will never know why it takes me 10 minutes to pick what kind of bread i want to buy because im deciding if itll be healthier to get multi-grain or whole wheat. Youll never understand why I am sick alot. Youll never understand why I get SO excited when I cant wear a pair of pants that I bought a week ago because they are now too big for me.
In 9 months, I have lost 140lbs. I went from wearing a size 24 to now a 14 (but that wont last long because im still dropping weight like crazy...) I went from hating my life to dreaming of adventures with my best friend. Im not gonna lie and pretend like everything is ok now. Because, honestly, its not. I worry about my health. I have a hard time getting enough to drink and eat everyday. Im worried that I may have gall stones and will have to have my gallbladder removed. I still think of myself as the overweight girl. Im still awkward and shy sometimes. I still pick out my flaws and over analyze everything about myself.
The only difference now is I have hope. I have hope that tomorrow will be better. I have hope that I can still become the person I want to be. I have hope that I will reach my goal weight. I have hope because I have come so far. Sometimes, I still need to be reminded of my journey. I have kept a pair of my "fat" jeans and every time I start to think mean thoughts about myself I put them on.
Seriously, i could fit another person in them with me. Its CRAZY! I should really take a pic in them and post it on here. I dont think I am a completely different person but I am better than i was. I am healthier and stronger. I trust myself more and I love myself more.
I workout now because I LOVE it and it makes me happy. I dont look at other girls working out and think mean thoughts or say something rude under my breath about how they should go eat a twinkie. I am proud to see other women taking pride in themselves and working out. They are healthy. They are strong.
-Em
