Yoga, Christmas Eve, and job opportunities!

Yeah.....

I've come to terms with the fact that I will never win an award for my amazing blogging skills and I owe it all to the fact that...I'm 20, yo! 

I work full-time, go to school, am involved in church callings and activities, and every now and then I like to do stuff for fun. Ya know, like go to K-Mart and by another Yoga DVD. 

I have a weakness for anything related to Yoga. 

Yoga mats, Yoga pants (I could live in those things for so many reasons...but mainly because no one ever knows if I just got back from the gym or just rolled out of bed.), Yoga music, etc.

I have so many good memories involving Yoga. 

While attending BYU-I, my roommates and I would go like every week during the winter to the free classes on campus. 

They were so much fun! 

There is always that one person who has to show everyone else up and twist themselves into a tiny little pretzels while i'm in the back on the room tumbling over in an unsuccessful attempt to keep my balance.

 I always felt like I owed the instructor an apology for my friend's and I laughing so much at ourselves. 

While, yoga was a fun and comical experience, it is now a stress reliever for me now. Seriously, after a few minutes of stretching and yoga poses I can get rid of a terrible mood. It's incredible what taking a few minutes and listening to our bodies and allowing ourselves time to just "be" can really do for us! 

My mom told me that she read somewhere that the average person gains 7 pounds during the holidays. That is a lot of wiggle room. So, I've decided that I will enjoy my large cup of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows and Christmas cookies/candy galore! 

I am so excited for the changes coming up in my life! I became a Certified Nurses Assistant. I was really nervous about taking my skills test because our classmates were our "patients". 

I just hate faking. In real life, I love taking care of people and stuff but when i'm acting it's just super awkward and I cant help but laugh. 

BUT nevertheless, I made a 96 on my skills test!

I applied for several jobs as a CNA in the Council Bluffs/Omaha area. 

Has anyone heard of Creighton University?

Well, they have a really awesome law and medical program. 

Well, there is also a big Medical Center affiliated with the school. 

I applied for a job as a CNA in OB helping deliver babies and care for laboring mothers! 

Seriously, getting this job would be a dream come true!

To be able to get experience at Creighton would be AMAZING!!!

So, I am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that I get the job.

I'll keep everyone posted. 

Well, I am off to build a Gingerbread house with my sister! 

 MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!

-Emily

Sometimes you just need to cry....

I have had some of the most heart breaking experiences lately. 

I worked with a patient who was morbidly obese and really couldn't move around by herself.

 I looked into her eyes and saw nothing. 

She has been completely engulfed by hopelessness and despair. 

She has been filled with darkness and her mind has been clouded. 

Although I try to be extra cheerful when I see her, I know what kind of hell she is living in.

 I may not know or understand the severity of it but I understand her.

 I relate to her.

I just wanted to grab her and scream, "WAKE UP!!! THIS IS NOT IT...THERE IS MORE TO YOUR LIFE!! ARE YOU WILLING TO FIGHT? BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO FIGHT TO LIVE!"

She is not living.

She is merely existing day to day. 

I looked into the eyes of a sweet,innocent, little girl whom had accompanied her father into the E.R. 

Her father had too many drinks and was unresponsive. 

As I did my work, I tried to make small talk with her. I asked her, " What's your name?" "How old are you?" etc.....

I think about her a lot. 

I know the life she is living. 

She is the child of an alcoholic. 

Even though she may be sad or hurt, she tries not to show it because she cant fall apart when her parent doesn't even have it together. 

She has to be the care taker. 

She has to be responsible for another person at a time when she should be relying on them to help her figure out her life and realize who she is. 

I had another lady whose mind was that of a small child. 

In fact, at times I would have to look at her to remind myself that this was a grown woman. 

She had the same fears as a child and expressed them the same way.

She was encouraged the same way you would encourage a small child to be brave while at the hospital.

Ice cream did the trick! 

I was reminded that mental health is crucial.

That being said....

I will never understand how a human being can look into the eyes of a child and do them harm. 

But I also cannot understand why we take mental health so lightly or why there is so much shame in admitting there is a problem either within yourself or with someone else. 

If the problem is within some one else,  be mindful of it, acknowledge that something is not right, and encourage them to seek help. 

But I guess it really is not that easy.

You see, I was recently diagnosed Bipolar. 

(Yep. I'm being honest.)

I had a physician tell me that they believed I was bipolar about a year ago but I didn't believe them and refused to admit it.

I didn't realize how serious the problem was until one of my best friends talked to me after I had started getting help and said, "Emily, it was so scary talking to you because there was such a disconnect. I didn't recognize you at all."

It is a battle that I fight every. single. day. 

I have to listen to my body and realize when I am going to have a  "bad day".

I am still learning but I have been able to find my triggers. 

I know that a bad mood can lead to a pitfall. 

I know that if I don't eat right and exercise I will not be mentally healthy.

Yoga usually does the trick for clearing my mind and allowing me to breathe.

Anyway,  when I was waiting to see a therapist I was put on a waiting list....

FOR A MONTH.

Seriously, there are not enough funds for mental health. 

I am lucky that I have support and was able to get help before but imagine if it were a dyer situation.

Some one who is mentally unhealthy are capable of doing anything...as we know, after the shooting today.

I just had to say all of these things. I don't know why bad things happen. I don't know why some people are put through the trials they are but I know that we have to be honest. Stop hiding! Stop thinking that you have to be perfect all of the time. Admit when you are hurting. Say it when you are sad. 

RUNNING SHOE GIVEAWAY by my FAVORITE LADY EVER!!!!!!!!!

EVERYONE!!!!!!

STOP WHAT YOURE DOING AND GO CHECK OUT THIS LOVELY LADY'S BLOG....

HungryRunnerGirl

She is INCREDIBLE!!!! Seriously, she is GORGEOUS, HYSTERICAL, and SO MOTIVATING! I found her blog on Pinterest (Go figure...) back in July and have been addicted ever since! She makes fitness look SUPER easy and from what I am gathering she runs like a million miles a day and somehow manages to complete her daily tasks, be a wife, mother, eat lots of YUMMY food and do it all while looking like a drop dead gorgeous model! 

Yep. I want her life. The end.

In the meantime, im entering a contest for a chance to score some AWESOME running shoes!!! I cant even tell you how happy I would be if I could win some NICE running shoes. I mean, i have nice ones... dont get me wrong...but I also work in them and they are gonna be done-zo pretty soon.

Plus these are PERFECT for training....ughhh!!!! I would kill for them....

Anyway, if you would like a chance to score some free running shoes head over to her blog and enter yourself.......but if you win and I dont.....IM GONNA BE SOOOO MAD!!!

Just Kidding...kinda.... =)