I am tieing a kot on my rope.......

I love quotes! When I find ones that really speak to me, I love to share them. Sometimes, I even make little crafts with the quote and hang it some where in my house so that I feel the motivation it gives me over and over again. 

One of my friends from high school posted this one as her Facebook status and I loved it immediately!

               "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." -Franklin D. Roosevelt"

It just reminds me that even if I am struggling and fighting just to hold on, I can still survive by tying a knot on my "rope" and hanging on for dear life. I will get stronger in time and my fight wont be as hard. I will be able to hold on easily. 

Since, I lost my weight so rapidly my body is having a hard time "catching up". I am a student at Brigham Young University in Rexburg,Idaho and I was attending class this semester but had to switch to online classes and come home. I have this issue about being "indestructible". I never admit when I need help or am not able to do something. So, when my mother asked me if I was gonna be able to go to school and be ok, of course, I said absolutely!  

Well, I never realized how hard it would be to watch my roommates eat delicious food while I sat back with my Activia or how much the stress of school would make me physically sick. After about a month, I gave up and came home defeated. I should have known I couldnt go back to school so soon. It was only like 2 months post-op. 

The day I left I remember telling my best friend, Aly that my leg felt kind of numb. I didnt think much about it because it was just a certain section on my leg, not my entire leg. Anway, I get home and as the days pass I realize the numbness is spreading. Eventually, both legs were numb. From my belly button all the way to my toes. I was so scared because Multiple Sclerosis runs in my family and I just knew my dreams of being a healthy mother and nurse were over. I knew this was serious. I couldnt even control my legs well enough to walk. I couldnt get myself up off of the couch. Nothing.

I went to a doctor, who also goes to church with me, and she advised me to council with a Neurologist. We did the next day and he wanted to do some testing. Has any one ever done any nerve testing before? It is the craziest thing. They stick little sticker things on you and then shock you and watch the reflexes and how your nerves react to it. 

This is kind of how I imagined it would be. Poor kid. In all honesty, it wasnt that bad. (Side Note: I dont know who this kid is. I found this pic on google. hahahaha :)

On a pain scale of 1-10, id say it was a 7 or 8 but it was manageable. I just laughed the whole time. I just kept thinking about how crazy I must have looked jumping uncontrollably every time the nurse shocked me. Or, how I must have looked insane holding my mouth as hard as I could so I didnt scream. It was quite the site! =)

Anyway, it turns out that I do have some nerve damage in my legs. Mainly around the ankles and down through my feet. But the Neurologist said that in time, it should go away and I will be fine. This is not a normal side effect of the surgery. This is my own fault. I was not monitoring my protein intake the way I should have and I allowed my protein levels to drop. After, they dropped all of the damage began. 

But I am working now to reverse this and be able to do whatever exercises I want. Or just simply be able to get off the couch with out a fight. Its the little things in life, ya know? =) 

I am actually about to go for a walk with some friends! Why not invite some one to join in on the fun?! The more the merrier! So, I hope you all are having a fantastic day! HAPPY WEDNESDAY! 

Live Life, Love Life, Love Yourself.

-Emily