Happy 7 Months! =)

November 25th, 2010

That was the day that my life changed forever.

While, families in America were gathering around their dining tables eating, reminiscing, and enjoying each others company on a special holiday, I was in Mexico being prepared for surgery, praying for the comfort of the Holy Ghost, and slowly letting go of everything that I used to allow to hold me back from life and happiness.

Many people asked me why I chose Thanksgiving Day, of all days, to have the gastric bypass surgery. Well, you see, it was shear coinsidence that it happened that way but now that I look back I wouldnt have wanted it any other way. I was very thankful for that second chance at life and I knew that I was where i needed to be and doing what I needed to be doing at that time in my life.

So, instead of whining about how I didnt get to stuff my face with turkey, dressing, peanut butter balls (family tradition), and whatever else that would have been there, i simply thank my Heavenly Father for allowing me to live a healthier life. A better life. A longer life.

I have been blessed beyond belief. Far more than I deserve. But i plan on serving God as much as I can in hopes of paying him back atleast a fraction of all that I owe Him. I know that I can never repay Him completely and im not suggesting that He expects to be reimbursed but I just want Him to know that I am aware of my blessings and I am using them to help others.

Anyway,  this has been one of the hardest journeys of my life thus far but I know that in a few years when I am older and experiencing other hardships ill realize that this really wasnt as bad as it could have been.

I have had a tough time with the neuropathy in my legs. It is getting alot better. Before, it would hurt so bad that I would just lay in bed and cry. It was horrible. And i couldnt just simply take a pain pill because, well, i couldnt swallow pills.

But I also havent been nearly as sick as I could have been with this surgery. My sister was terribly sick when she had the surgery. I guess that just goes to show that everyone is different. I will admit however that certain things make me sick. For example, if I have a sinus infection I CANNOT eat. Anything.

 If I havent taken my Nexium in a while I cannot eat and if i try i have to throw up (tmi?). I have serious acid reflux issues now. But if I took my medicine like im suppose to I wouldnt get sick because of it.  

When it is "that time of the month"  I have a hard time eating. Everything makes me nauseous. 

Also, ive learned that if I take my medicine and lay down right after i get really sick. Not really sure why though. hmmm..... 

I also cant eat much sugar. I really shouldnt eat any at all but if ive eaten already and I have something on my stomach, I can eat like a bite or two of something sweet but for sure not on an empty stomach! 

Well, that is all of the "not so great" things ive learned since my surgery. Here are the more positive things ive learned:

I am beautiful in my own way. I do not have to be a size 2 with blonde hair, a sweet tan...I am a curvy, brunette (red/blonde...i get creative) with pale skin. I am who I am.

Being beautiful does not mean you are perfect. 

I am stronger than I thought I was.

I have lost 130lbs in only 7 months. In the first year, you loose the most weight. Which means I have 5 months until my weightloss is predicted to slow down. My sister is about 1 year and 1/2 post op and she has lost about 160lbs. So, although im not where i need to be I have had alot of success.

I have a Father in heaven who is very aware of me and a brother who sacrificed His life for me and suffered every pain that I have ever felt. They know me and understand me even when I dont understand myself.

I can change the world by telling my story.

In these past 7 months, I have lost 130lbs and almost 7 pant sizes. But i have gained:

confidence

appreciation

respect for myself

motivation

determination

HOPE

love

patience

acceptance

I lived my life ashamed of who i was. I kept myself from being happy. I held myself back from success.

Now, I try to learn something from each day. I try to better myself. I make goals and know that I can achieve them. I dream about my future and know that it is possible to make those dreams a reality. I am honest with myself.

I mean, dont get me wrong. I have days when I just feel "ugly" and I have moments when I get all depressed over something that really isnt that important. For example, today I slept in instead of going to my classes. Yes. I know. I should have gotten off of my lazy butt and went to class. But im human. I make mistakes. But there is always tomorrow. Another chance to do better. Thats the best part about life. When we make mistakes,its not over. We can also change. Always.

Anyway, I have my good days and I have my bad days. Im human. Also, im a girl and lets face it, ladies, we can be pretty hormonal sometimes. Its the truth.

Well, this has been an outrageously long post. So, to end this one I want to write out a few goals for July. 

Here goes:

1.) NO MORE SKIPPING CLASSES!

2.) Exercise everyday

3.) Read scriptures more often.

4.) Say my prayers morning and night!

What about you? What will goals will you set for yourself for the month of July?

Oh, and if you made it through this entire post--HOLLA!!-- youre amazing!!!!

Live Life. Love Life. Love Yourself.