"Emily was fantastic!"

Oh, well... I'll just avoid the fact that its been like FOREVER since ive blogged and jump right into a new post.

Well, I recently got a job at Old Navy here in Salt Lake City, UT. I am a sales associate but I do everything from cleaning to operating the cash register.

It has been super super super hard. I have never worked in retail before but I love to shop. So, of course, I figured it would be the perfect job for me!

Hmmmm......not sure about that.

I mean, it has definetely taught me that I DO NOT WANT to do anything other than nursing. I had been deciding between Business or Nursing and now I am definetely dead set on being a nurse.

Anyway, even though its been hard I have enjoyed it so far. I havent received my first pay check yet though. Maybe ill love it even more after that??? Maybe not for 8.25/hr but than again I cant ask for much more considering im still a college student without any form of degree.

I never realized how much hard work goes into stores like Old Navy. I used to go shopping and leave my fitting room a disaster. NOT ANYMORE!!! Those people are so lazy and rude! Dangit, just put the shirt back on the hanger! ....Moving along.....

Its also really cool for me to be working in retail and being able to assist people find the right size in something. I remember not asking the sales associates for help because i didnt want to tell them what size I wore. Well, ill be honest now...I wore a size 24...and they were tight!

Now, i wear a size 14 and most of the time they are pretty loose. I should be moving into 12's soon.

This sounds really mean and alittle weird but its exciting to see people who are bigger than me. When I was at my heaviest, I thought I was the biggest person in the world. Sometimes I still feel that way....but im reminded that I am not 340lbs any more. I am not "that" person anymore. I am no longer trapped. I am free to be whoever I want to be.

Its an amazing feeling!!!

So, to explain the title of this post....

I had been feeling really overwhelmed with work. I felt like I wasnt doing a good job. I wasnt connecting with the customer enough.

We have this little online survey that we mention to every customer at check-out. It prints out with their receipt and you just tell them how you would really appreciate it if they could score us at 9 or 10, in order for us to get our C.E.S. (Customer Experience Score) up. Well, we had been at 10-11 for ever but today we were scored at 12! Which isnt fantastic but atleast were moving up!!!

AND the best part is, someone included a message that said "Emily was fantastic!"

Im the only Emily that works there!

YAY! THEY LIKE ME!!!

-Emily

Before and After

 

Eventually, I am going to realize how embarrassing this picture is and I will stop sharing it with everyone but until then I will because you will never understand who I am without knowing what ive been through. You will never know why it takes me 10 minutes to pick what kind of bread i want to buy because im deciding if itll be healthier to get multi-grain or whole wheat. Youll never understand why I am sick alot. Youll never understand why I get SO excited when I cant wear a pair of pants that I bought a week ago because they are now too big for me.

In 9 months, I have lost 140lbs. I went from wearing a size 24 to now a 14 (but that wont last long because im still dropping weight like crazy...) I went from hating my life to dreaming of adventures with my best friend. Im not gonna lie and pretend like everything is ok now. Because, honestly, its not. I worry about my health. I have a hard time getting enough to drink and eat everyday. Im worried that I may have gall stones and will have to have my gallbladder removed. I still think of myself as the overweight girl. Im still awkward and shy sometimes. I still pick out my flaws and over analyze everything about myself.

The only difference now is I have hope. I have hope that tomorrow will be better. I have hope that I can still become the person I want to be. I have hope that I will reach my goal weight. I have hope because I have come so far. Sometimes, I still need to be reminded of my journey. I have kept a pair of my "fat" jeans and every time I start to think mean thoughts about myself I put them on.

Seriously, i could fit another person in them with me. Its CRAZY! I should really take a pic in them and post it on here. I dont think I am a completely different person but I am better than i was. I am healthier and stronger. I trust myself more and I love myself more.

I workout now because I LOVE it and it makes me happy. I dont look at other girls working out and think mean thoughts or say something rude under my breath about how they should go eat a twinkie. I am proud to see other women taking pride in themselves and working out. They are healthy. They are strong.

-Em

To Write Love On Her Arms

    

IM BAAAAAAACCCCCKKKK!!!!!! Sorry i havent blogged in awhile. I moved from Rexburg, ID to Salt Lake City, UT and just now got wireless internet. Anyway, the meaning for this post is to share with you a blog post from an organization that is near and dear to my heart, To Write Love On Her Arms.  If you have never heard of it, please take a minute and check it out here. I just know you will fall in love with these amazing people and will have to pull yourselves away from their site. They're amazing!

Anyway, I came across a blog post that reminded me of my fight. My journey. It is about a guy named Ben and his fight with obesity. Please, Please, Please check it out and check out his blog!! You can read the blog post from TWLOHA here.

Well, thats all for today! Going for a swim with my sister. Gonna enjoy the day!

 -Em

There is always "something".........

If you have read my blog from the beginning, im sure you have heard me talk about my previous health issues. Before surgery, I suffered from Hypothyroidism, a condition in which the thyroid gland does not make enough thyroid hormone.

Hypothyroidism has MANY symptoms/signs. The main ones ive had to deal with are extreme fatigue and an abnormal menstrual cycle. Seriously, ladies, im sure we could all agree that when Mother Nature starts messing with your "cycle" it throws EVERYTHING out of wack! Anyway, moving along.....haha

So, Monday I went to the Student Health Center to have my monthly check-up and lab work done. I have been feeling extremely tired lately. A lot more than usual. I get plenty of sleep for the most part but I always feel like I havent rested. Its crazy! I was worried that something was wrong with my thyroid again.

During the exam, my doctor asked me if I was on any medication for my thyroid and I told him about how I used to be but now that ive lost so much weight it seems to have fixed itself so I no longer take it..blah blah blah. Well, I called the office yesterday because I hadnt heard back from them about my results. The doctor informed me that my thyroid level was really high again and that I would need to start back on my medication in order to fix it.

I thought once I lost weight it would fix itself and I would be "normal" again but it seems as if it just hasnt gotten its act together yet. Hopefully, one day I wont have to take so much medicine but until then ill just try to be patient and keep in mind that it could always be worse.

But on the plus side, my protein level is normal and my b12 level is 10 times the normal amount, which is caused because I dont absorb it anymore so I have to have a lot more than normal. If that makes any sense.........Its complicated. haha

-EM

Guest Blogger!!!

My new friend, Karen, over at I Walk Along The Road, invited me to be a guest on her blog! Check out my post here. Let me know what you think, ok?

Happy Tuesday Friends!

-EM

Happy 7 Months! =)

November 25th, 2010

That was the day that my life changed forever.

While, families in America were gathering around their dining tables eating, reminiscing, and enjoying each others company on a special holiday, I was in Mexico being prepared for surgery, praying for the comfort of the Holy Ghost, and slowly letting go of everything that I used to allow to hold me back from life and happiness.

Many people asked me why I chose Thanksgiving Day, of all days, to have the gastric bypass surgery. Well, you see, it was shear coinsidence that it happened that way but now that I look back I wouldnt have wanted it any other way. I was very thankful for that second chance at life and I knew that I was where i needed to be and doing what I needed to be doing at that time in my life.

So, instead of whining about how I didnt get to stuff my face with turkey, dressing, peanut butter balls (family tradition), and whatever else that would have been there, i simply thank my Heavenly Father for allowing me to live a healthier life. A better life. A longer life.

I have been blessed beyond belief. Far more than I deserve. But i plan on serving God as much as I can in hopes of paying him back atleast a fraction of all that I owe Him. I know that I can never repay Him completely and im not suggesting that He expects to be reimbursed but I just want Him to know that I am aware of my blessings and I am using them to help others.

Anyway,  this has been one of the hardest journeys of my life thus far but I know that in a few years when I am older and experiencing other hardships ill realize that this really wasnt as bad as it could have been.

I have had a tough time with the neuropathy in my legs. It is getting alot better. Before, it would hurt so bad that I would just lay in bed and cry. It was horrible. And i couldnt just simply take a pain pill because, well, i couldnt swallow pills.

But I also havent been nearly as sick as I could have been with this surgery. My sister was terribly sick when she had the surgery. I guess that just goes to show that everyone is different. I will admit however that certain things make me sick. For example, if I have a sinus infection I CANNOT eat. Anything.

 If I havent taken my Nexium in a while I cannot eat and if i try i have to throw up (tmi?). I have serious acid reflux issues now. But if I took my medicine like im suppose to I wouldnt get sick because of it.  

When it is "that time of the month"  I have a hard time eating. Everything makes me nauseous. 

Also, ive learned that if I take my medicine and lay down right after i get really sick. Not really sure why though. hmmm..... 

I also cant eat much sugar. I really shouldnt eat any at all but if ive eaten already and I have something on my stomach, I can eat like a bite or two of something sweet but for sure not on an empty stomach! 

Well, that is all of the "not so great" things ive learned since my surgery. Here are the more positive things ive learned:

I am beautiful in my own way. I do not have to be a size 2 with blonde hair, a sweet tan...I am a curvy, brunette (red/blonde...i get creative) with pale skin. I am who I am.

Being beautiful does not mean you are perfect. 

I am stronger than I thought I was.

I have lost 130lbs in only 7 months. In the first year, you loose the most weight. Which means I have 5 months until my weightloss is predicted to slow down. My sister is about 1 year and 1/2 post op and she has lost about 160lbs. So, although im not where i need to be I have had alot of success.

I have a Father in heaven who is very aware of me and a brother who sacrificed His life for me and suffered every pain that I have ever felt. They know me and understand me even when I dont understand myself.

I can change the world by telling my story.

In these past 7 months, I have lost 130lbs and almost 7 pant sizes. But i have gained:

confidence

appreciation

respect for myself

motivation

determination

HOPE

love

patience

acceptance

I lived my life ashamed of who i was. I kept myself from being happy. I held myself back from success.

Now, I try to learn something from each day. I try to better myself. I make goals and know that I can achieve them. I dream about my future and know that it is possible to make those dreams a reality. I am honest with myself.

I mean, dont get me wrong. I have days when I just feel "ugly" and I have moments when I get all depressed over something that really isnt that important. For example, today I slept in instead of going to my classes. Yes. I know. I should have gotten off of my lazy butt and went to class. But im human. I make mistakes. But there is always tomorrow. Another chance to do better. Thats the best part about life. When we make mistakes,its not over. We can also change. Always.

Anyway, I have my good days and I have my bad days. Im human. Also, im a girl and lets face it, ladies, we can be pretty hormonal sometimes. Its the truth.

Well, this has been an outrageously long post. So, to end this one I want to write out a few goals for July. 

Here goes:

1.) NO MORE SKIPPING CLASSES!

2.) Exercise everyday

3.) Read scriptures more often.

4.) Say my prayers morning and night!

What about you? What will goals will you set for yourself for the month of July?

Oh, and if you made it through this entire post--HOLLA!!-- youre amazing!!!!

Live Life. Love Life. Love Yourself.

 

STOP COMPLAINING!!!!

Ok. I understand that everyone deserves a moment when they can just release all of their frustrations and just vent. Some people do this way too often though. Its almost annoying. No wait...It is annoying! I know, I know. I complain too. Im human, were all human. I get it but there comes a time when you have to realize that the entire world is not against you, there are good people in the world, and you cant keep blaming other people for your unhappiness. You will only ever be as happy as you allow yourself to be.

I have made it my MISSION to stop whenever I am starting to feel depressed, stressed out, or angry about anything and think of all of the good things that I have in my life. There is always something to be thankful for but if we dont stop and acknowledge these things we will let them slip by unnoticed.

So, i want to take a minute and list all of the things I am thankful for right at this very moment.

I am thankful for:

My mother

My sister

My faith

My Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ

My health

My friends

patience

love

comfort

Jamba Juice

My success with the gastric bypass surgery

second chances

school

modern medicine

freedom

laughter

the cool breeze outside

There is so much more that I could add to this list I am sure but I will end it now. Life is hard and sometimes we dont know where were going or what were doing but that doesnt mean we have to let ourselves give up and just complain all of the time. There is a plan for our lives. We are here for a reason and we live each day to figure out that reason.

Anyway, sorry for "preaching a sermon" at you. I honestly dont mean to lecture anyone. I just want to document my thoughts during this weight loss process whatever they may be. And it just so happens this is what you get for today!

My friend Jackie and I have decided that we are going to work out everyday! Yep. You heard me. EVERYDAY! Whether it be a trip to the gym on campus or a walk to Jamba Juice :).

We went for a walk up to the temple here in Rexburg, Idaho. It just so happen there was also a gorgeous rainbow over the temple. So pretty!

Live Life. Love Life. Love Yourself.

-Emily